FEUDALISM
You have 2 cows. Your Lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and
sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours take care of them and you all share the milk.
APPLIED COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all
the milk.
CHINESE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment,
high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
DICTATORSHIP
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
MILITARISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the
economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
PURE DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to
Zurich.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them. After the election
the President is impeached for speculating in Cow futures. The Press dubs the
affair "Cowgate". The cow sues you for breach of contract.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government
doesn't do anything.
GERMAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
FRENCH DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and
when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes
both, shoots one and milks the other, pouring the milk down the drain. Then
it requires you to fill out forms regarding the missing cows.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY
You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals
MALAYSIAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government confiscates your cows, gives you a donkey
and takes you for a ride.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
SWISS DEMOCRACY
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing
them.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows
back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. The public buys your bull.
TOTALITARIANISM
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed
Milk is banned
RUSSIAN CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them
again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12
cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka
ITALIAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
HINDU
You have two cows. You worship them.
NEW ZEALAND DEMOCRACY
You have two sheep. That one on the left is kinda cute...
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