GCountry roads Dtake me home
EmTo the place CI belong,
CWest GVirginia - Dmountain momma
CTake me home, Gcountry roads.
All my memories gather round her,
Midas lady stranger to blue waters,
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky,
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrops in my eyes
I hear her voice in the morning hours she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away,
And driving down the road I get the feeling that
I should have been made home yesterday --- yesterday
Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let, fifty cents
No phone, no pool, no pets, I ain't got no cigarettes -
Ah but, two hours of pushing broom -
Buys a, eight by twelve four bit room.
I'm a man of means, by no means, King of the Road
I know every engineer on every train,
All of the children and all of their names
And every hand out in every town
And every lock that ain't locked when no-ones around.
Third box car, midnight train, destination Bangor Main.
Old worn out suit & shoes, I don't pay no Union dues-
I smoke, old stogies I have found,
Short, but not too big a round.
I'm a man of means, by no means, King of the Road
I know...
1st verse again.
Where are the folk like the folk o' the west?
Canty and couthy and kindly, the best
There I would hie me and there I would rest
At home wi' my own folk in Isla
And it's No, Nay, Never,
No, Nay, Never, No more!
Will I play the Wild Rover -
No, Never, No more...
I went to a tavern I used to frequent
And told the landlady me money was spent
When I asked her for credit she answered me nay
For its custom like yours we can get any day,
And it's...
I reached in my pocket, took out sovereigns bright
And the landlady's eyes lit up with delight
She said "You'll have whisky and beer of the best
Those words that I spoke, sure were only in jest"
And it's...
I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And if they forgive me as oft times before
Then I never will play the wild rover no more.
I was born, under a wandering star
I was born, under a wandering star
Wheels are made for rolling,
Mules are made to pack,
I've never seen a sight
That didn't look better when looking back.
I was...
Mud can make you prisoner,I was...
Do I know where Hell is?
Hell is in hello.
Heaven is saying goodbye forever,
It's time for me to go.
I was...
When I get to heaven,
Tie me to a tree
Or I will start to wander
And you know, where I will be.
For the rain never falls on the dusty Diamond Tena
A drover finds it hard to change his mind
For the years have surely gone
Like the drays from old Cork Station
And I won't be back till the droving's done.
I think I'll settle back and live in Sydney
But it's been so long and it's hard to change my mind
For the cattle trail goes on and on
And the fences roll forever
And I won't be back till the droving's done.
Seems like the sun comes up each morning
Sets me up and then takes it all away
For the dreaming at night
By the camp fire light
Ends with the burning light of day.
[Thanks to the two Ozzies]
I am sitting in the railway station
Got a ticket for my destination, hmm
On a tour of one night stands
My suitcase and guitar in hand
And every stop is neatly planned
For a poet and a one man band
Homeward bound -
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thoughts escape me
Home, where the music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me
Every day's an endless stream
Of cigarettes and magazines, hmm
And each town looks the same to me
The movies and the factories
And every stranger's face I see
Reminds me that I long to be
Homeward bound...
Tonight I'll sing my songs again
I'll play the game and return, hmm
And all my words come back to me
In shades of mediocraty
Like emptiness and harmony
I need someone to comfort me
Homeward bound...
Davie's on the road again
Wearing different clothes again
David's turning hand-outs down
To keep his pockets clean.
All his goods are sold again
Word as good as gold again
Says if you see Jean now ask her please don't pity me
Jean and I were moving on
Since the day down in the Hollow
When the mind was moving on
And the beat was soon to follow
Davie's...
Saying his goodbyes again
Wheels are in his eyes again
Says if you see Jean now ask her please don't pity me
Down down in the big town,
Gonna set you back in your heels
With a mouthful of memories
and posting stickers on the windshield
Davie's...
<First verse again>
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it
New York, New York.
I want to wake up, in a city, that doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hills
Top of the heap.
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York.
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you,
New York, New York.
New York, New York.
I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps
And find I'm A, number one
Top of the list
King of the hills
A, number one.
(slow down)
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it
In old New York
And if I can make it there
I'm gonna make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York
Ne-ew Yo-ork!
Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug
Make you wanna holler "Heidy Ho!"
Burns your tummy don't you know
Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug;
Grape wine and amazin' joy
Home made and brought to school
By a friend of mine after class
Me an' him an' this other fool decide that
we'll drink up what's left
Chug-a-lug so I helped myself
First time forever - fine -
- Mmm - my ears still ring
Chug-a-lug...
Four H and a half FA
On a field trip to the farm
Me an a friend sneak off behind
This big ol' barn, where we uncovered a
Covered up Moonshine still
An' we thought we'd drink our fill
& I swallowed it with a smile -
Brrr - I run ten mile!
Chug-a-lug...
Juke box and sawdust floor
Something like I ain't never seen
Hell I'm just going on fifteen
But with the help of my finageling uncle I
Get stuck in
For my first taste o' sin
I said let me have a big ol' sip
Brrr - I did a double back flip
Chug-a-lug...
Chug choog chug Bleeergh...
Well I called my wife and I said to her
"Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be?"
"Aye you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
Still you cannot see,
That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me"
Well it's many a day I've travelled,
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow, sure I never saw before.
Tuesday...a coat behind the door...
a woollen blanket...Buttons on a blanket
Wednesday...a pipe upon the chair...
a lovely tin whistle...tobacco in a tin whistle
Thursday...two boots beneath the bed...
two geranium pots...laces in geranium pots..
Friday... A head upon the bed...
a newborn baby boy....a baby born with whiskers on
Saturday... A hand upon your breast...
a lovely brassiere... a brassiere with five knuckles on
Sunday... A thing inside your thing...
a lovely candlestick... a candlestick with b**x on
This heres the wattle;
the emblem of our land
you can stick it in a bottle
you can hold it in your hand
Amen
Immanual Cant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable;
Heidegger Heidegger was a boozin' beggar
Who could think you under the table;
David Hume, could out consume,
Hopenschauer & Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as shloshed as Schlagel;
Theres nothing Neitzche couldn't teach yer
'Bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates himself was permanantly pissed....
John Stewart Mill of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill;
Plato they say, could stick it away,
Half a pot of whisky, every day;
Aristotle Aristotle was a begger for the bottle,
Hops was fond of his dram;
And Renne de Cart was a drunken fart,
I drink therefore I am;
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
I'm not a pheasant plucker
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
And I'll sit here pluckin' pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker comes
Well my daddy was a poor man
He worked hard to earn his pay
I went out a shootin' pheasants
Which he sat and plucked all day
I don't wanna end up like him
Pluckin' pheasants till I'm dead
There must be another way
To earn me bre-ead
I'm not...
Birds are flying overhead most of the day
Gotta find a target just to make me wa-ay
I'm not...
Tried to be an entertainer,
Be a joker or a clown
But the folks who came to see me
They just had to put me down
Tried to be an undertaker
But I don't like wearing black
There must be another way
To earn me wha-ack!
I'm not...
Birds are flying overhead most of the day
Gotta find a target just to make me wa-ay
I'm not....
It's Saturday night
It's Saturday night
I'm feeling on song
I think I'm all right
I know I'm all wrong
The drink that I had
Three hours ago
So let me walk straight
Don't let me feel pain
I'm gonna scratch cars
With my key again
Cos when I go home
And fall on my bed
If it doesn't,
leave my stomach,
it will split my head
(whistle)
Cos when I go home
And fall on my bed
If it doesn't,
leave my stomach,
it will split my head
It's Saturday Night
I'm feeling in song
I think I'm all right
I know I'm all wrong
The drink that I had
Three hours ago
Has been joined by,
fourteen others,
in a steady flow
(Humm)
My wife and I liv'd all alone,
In a little log hut we call'd our own;
She lov'd gin and I lov'd rum -
I tell you what, we'd lots of fun.
Ha-ha-ha, you and me,
Little brown jug, don't I love thee.
'Tis you who make my friends my foes,
'Tis you who make me wear old clothes;
Here you are, so near my nose,
So tip her up and down she goes.
When I go toiling to my farm,
I take little brown jug under my arm;
I place it under a shady tree -
Little brown jug 'tis you and me.
If all the folks in Adam's race,
Were gather'd together in one place;
Then I'd prepare to shed a tear,
Before I'd part from you, my dear.
If I'd a cow that gave such milk,
I'd clothe her in the finest silk;
I'd feed her on the choicest hay,
And milk her forty times a day.
The rose is red, my nose is too,
The violet's blue and so are you;
And yet I guess, before I stop,
We'd better take another drop.
There were four jovial fellows
Came over the hill together
Came over the hill together
To join our jovial crew
And they ordered their pints of beer
and bottles of sherry
To carry them over the hills so merry
To carry them over the hills so merry
When Jones's Ale was new me boys
When Jones's Ale was new.
And the first to come in was a tinker
And he was no small-ale drinker
And no man could be bolder, to join our jovial crew
He said have you got any pots and pans to fettle? When Jones's Ale was new me boys
When Jones's Ale was new
And the next to come in was a mason
Who's hammer needed refacin'
And no man...
Well he banged his hammer against the wall When Jones's Ale was new me boys
When Jones's Ale was new
And the next to come in was a dyer
And he sat down by the fire
And no man...
And the landlady told him to his face When Jones's Ale was new me boys
When Jones's Ale was new
And the last to come in was a soldier
With his flintlock over his shoulder
And no man...
And the landlady's daughter came in When Jones's Ale was new me boys
When Jones's Ale was new
And they ordered their...
To me rifle aree foddlediddle day )
To me rifle aree ooo ) .2
They ploughed him into the ground so deep
And threw clods over his head
And there he lay for some long time
Till they thought that he was dead
And there he lay for some long time
Till the rain from the skies did fall
Then Barleycorn popped up his head
And did surprise them all.
He grew up tall in the mid summer time
When the weather was pleasant and warm
And then he grew a furry beard
To prove he was a man.
Then they hired men with sickles
To cut him off at the knee
And how they used poor Barleycorn
They used him barbarously.
Then they pricked him with their forks so sharp
And pierced him to the heart
And they tossed him into the air so clear
And tied him to a cart.
And they hired men with thrashles
Who laid him down so low
And they came smick smack on poor Jacks back
Till the flesh bled every blow.
Then they pushed him into a tub so strong
And kept him in the barn
And there they made a mash of him,
Thinking it would do no harm.
Put your red wine into glasses
Your cider in tin cans
But put barleycorn in the brown jug
For he proved the strongest man...
The Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the tablecloth --
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I'm glad that I
Am not a Goop -- Are you?
The Goops are gluttonous and rude,
They gug and gumble with their food;
They throw their crumbs upon the floor,
And at dessert they tease for more.
They will not eat their soup and bread
but like to gobble sweets, instead,
And this is why I oft decline,
When I am asked to stay and dine!"
She wheels her wheelbarrow
Through the streets broad & narrow
Crying "Cockles & Muscles, alive, alive Oh
"Alive alive-oh, alive alive oh"
Crying "Cockles & Muscles, alive, alive oh"
She was a fishmonger, but sure 'twas no wonder
For so were her mother and father before
They'd wheeled their wheelbarrows...
But her ghost wheels her barrow...
When she walks by,
She brightens up the neighbourhood
Oh every guy would make her his
If he just could, if she just would
Some sweet day, I'll make her mine
Pretty flamingo
And every guy will envy me
'cos paradise is where I'll be
<whistle, last verse again>
The wind in the willow plays
Loves sweet melodies
But all of the vows we made
Won't ?ever give in?
Though we're apart
You follow me still
For you were my thrill
On Blueberry Hill
<Last two verses again>
Oh my darling, oh my darling
Oh my darling Clementine
Now you're lost and gone for ever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine
Light she was and like a fairy
And her shoes were number nine
Herring boxes without topses
Sandals were for Clementine
Drove she ducklings to the water
Every morning just at nine
Hit her foot against a splinter
Fell into the foaming brine
Ruby lips above the water
Blowing bubbles, oh so fine
But alas I was no swimmer
So I lost my Clementine
In a corner of the churchyard
Where the Myrtal boughs entwine
Growing roses in their posies
Fertilised by Clementine
Then the miner forty-niner
Soon began to peak and pine
Thought he oughter, join his daughter
Now he's with his Clementine
In my dreams she still doth haunt me
Clothed in garments soaked in brine
Though in life I used to hug her
Now she's dead I draw the line
Now she's gone and how I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine
But I kissed her little sister
And I forgot dear Clementine
One night as I lay in me bed
A'taking of my sleep
She came and stood to my bedside
And most bitterly she did weep
She sobbed she sighed and tore her hair
And cried "What shall I do?
For this night I'm resolved to sleep with you
For fear of the foggy dew"
Twas in the first part part of the night
We did sport and play
And in the second part of the night
She in me arms did lay
And when we woke on the next days morn
She cried "I am undone!"
"Ah hold your tongue you silly young wench
For the foggy dew has gone"
"Now suppose that you should have a child
T'would make you laugh and smile
Supposing you should have another
Would make you think a while
Supposing you should have another
And another and another one too
'Twould make you leave off your foolish young pranks
And think of the foggy dew"
Now I love this girl with all of me heart
I loved her right through me life
And in the second part of the year
I took her for me wife
I never told her of all me faults
Yet never intend to do
But every time she winks and smiles
We think of the foggy dew
So I pulled on over,
You tossed your hair off your shoulder
Then you turned and looked my way
Oh you would have died, you'd have skinned me alive
If I'd said what I wanted to say
So being polite, said "What you doin' tonight"
You said "It just so happens I'm free"
You got all the right curves
And all the right words
And thats all right with me
Oh Carol, you got me eating my heart away,
You got me counting my nights & days,
I'm floating on a milky way
Oh Carol, nobody's done it before
Oh baby you've opened the door
Oh Carol you can do it some more
Well if you're ready for this,
Well we started to kiss
She said "A hold on a minute or two"
Well naturally, I knew it couldn't me
I said "Baby what's troubling you"
She said "I'm not sixteen if you know what I mean"
So we sat up and talked for a while
Well we finally kissed you know she didn't resist
And I must say she did it with style
Oh Carol...
I was out cruising, Getting late and I was boozing
Then I saw you walking my way
So nonchalant, I bet you get what you want
And hell I ain't losing today
Oh Carol...
You looked so pretty
as you were riding along.
You looked so pretty
as you were singing this so-o-ong:
Well I put on speed and I tried to catch you up
But you were peddling harder too
Riding along like a hurrican honey
Spinning out of view.
You looked so pretty...
A-singin' this song:
"Round round wheels going round round round
Down up pedals, down up down
But I gotta get across to the other side of town
Before the sun goes down"
A hey hey!
Shhh - uh! uh! Shhh - aah!
Shhh - uh! uh! Shhh - aah!
Shhh - uh! uh! Shhh - aah!
Shhh - uh! uh! Shhh - aah!
Now we're riding along on a bicycle honey
That's a bicycle built for two.
I'm lookin' at my honey in the rear view mirror
Now I've gotta better view.
You look so pretty...
Ow! I feel nice!
Sugar and spice
I fee-el nice
Sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I gotta you
(Sax bit)
When I hold you, in my arms
I know that I can do no wrong
And when I hold you, in my arms
My love won't do you no harm
And I fee-el nice
A Sugar and Spice
I feel nice
A Sugar and Spice
So nice, so nice, I gotta you
(Sax bit)
When I hold you, in my arms
I know that I can do no wrong
And When I hold you, in my arms
My love can't do me no harm
And I fee-el nice
A Sugar and Spice
I feel nice
Sugar and Spice
So nice, so nice, I gotta you
Wha-ow! I feel good;
I knew that I would now
I fee-el good
I knew that I would now
So good (d! d!) so good (d! d!) }
I gotta you (doom! dam! di! dum! dum!) } x3
Hey!
(Paarp!)
Ow! I feel shite!
I knew that I might
I fee-el shite!
I knew that I might
So shite, so shite, I aint got you
Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester
And I'll give you the key
Come on now lets get together in perfect harmony
I got twenty acres, and you got forty three
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester
And I'll give you thet key
(She's made ta last, haha!)
I'll stick by you I'll give you all that you need
We'll have twins and triplets I'm a man built for speed And
You know I'll love you darling,
So give me your hand.
All I want the most is only acres of land.
Cos...
(Cor, She's a live bit of stuff and all)
For seven long years I've been alone in this place
I sleep in the kitchen its a proper disgrace
Now if I cleaned it up,
Would you change your mind
I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime
Cos...
(Who loves you baby, ha!)
Weren't we grand couple at that last Wurzel dance
I wore brand new gaters and me corduroy pants
In your new Sunday dress,
With your perfume smelling grand
We had our photos took, and all stood in hand
Cos... key
Now that we're both past our fifties
I think that you and me
Should stop this galavanting
And will you marry me
Cos... key
Lay down Sally, rest you in my arms
Don't you think you want someone to talk to
Lay down Sally, no need to leave so soon
I've been trying all night long just to talk to you
Sun ain't nearly on the rise,
We've still got the moon and stars above
Underneath the velvet skies
Love is all that matters
Why don't you stay with me,
And don't you ever le-eave
Lay down Sally...
I long to see the morning light,
Colouring your face so dreamily,
So don't you go and say goodbye
You can lay your worries down
And stay with me,
And don't you ever leave...
Lay down Sally...
Lay down Sally...
The sons of the Prophet are brave men and bold
And quite unaccustomed to fear,
But the bravest by far in the ranks of the Shah,
Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.
If you wanted a man to encourage the van,
Or harass the foe from the rear,
Storm fort or redoubt, you had only to shout
For Abdul Abulbul Amir.
Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame
In the troops that were led by the Czar,
And the bravest of these was a man by the name
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
One day this bold Russian, he shouldered his gun
And donned his most truculent sneer,
Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
Young man, quote Abdul, has life grown so dull
That you wish to end your career?
Vile infidel know, you have trod on the toe
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
So take your last look at the sunshine and brook
And send your regrets to the Czar
For by this I imply, you are going to die,
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
Then this bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,
Singing, "Allah! Il Allah! Al-lah!"
And with murderous intent he ferociously went
For Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,
Of blood they spilled a great part;
The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes,
Say that hash was first made on the spot.
They fought all that night ‘neath the pale yellow moon;
The din, it was heard from afar,
And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame,
Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.
As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life,
In fact he was shouting, "Huzzah!"
He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck,
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly,
Expecting the victor to cheer,
But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh,
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls,
And ‘graved there in characters clear,
Is, "Stranger, when passing, oh pray for the soul
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir."
A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night
Caused ripples to spread wide and far,
It was made by a sack fitting close to the back,
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,
'Neath the light of the cold northern star,
And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,
Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
(from here)
They said he's go-one to-oo America,
To work the land that some call Virginia
They said he's go-one to-oo America,
Married him in April, lost him in July.
They took him as their prisoner, then told me why
They said that they had sent him, where poachers go,
I asked if I could see him, but they said, "No"
They said...
Married him in April, lost him in July.
There's the man that took him, curse their wicked lies
The night they saw him poaching and drinking wine
Was the night that he took comfort, in these arms of mine
But now he's...
Take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look (a little bit) closer it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
I need you... I need you...
Since you left me, if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute she's just a substitute
Because you're the permenant one
Outside... I'm masquerading
Inside... My hope is fading
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up I wear
Since my break up with you
Take a good look...
x2
He slapped at his chest as he sat on that bough
singing "Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow
"Oh Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
He sobbed and he sighed and a gurgle he gave
Then he plunged himself into the billoway wave
And an echo arose from a suicides grave
"Oh Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
Now I feel just as sure, as I'm sure that my name
Isn't "Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
That 'twas blighted affection that made him exclaim
"Oh Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
If you remain callous and obdurate I
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die
"Oh Willow Tit Willow Tit Willow"
I wonder this time where she's gone
I wonder if she's gone to stay
Aint no sunshine when shes gone
And this house just aint no home
Any time she goes away
And I know I know I know....
I oughta leave the young thing alone
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Any time she goes away
...any time.. etc
Another lonely night, nameless town
If sleep don't take me fast,
You'll come around
Cos I know I can always count on you
My old friend the blues
Lovers leave and friends will let you down
You're the only sure thing that I've found
No matter what I do I'll never lose
My old friend the blues
Lovers leave and friends will let you down
You're the only sure thing that I've found
No matter what I do I'll never lose
My old friend the blues
Just let me hide my weary heart in you
My old friend the blues
So won't you please play a song
A sentimental song
For my sentimental friend over there
We've been so long apart
Make it go right to the heart
Of my sentimental friend over there
Bring the tears to her eyes
Help to make her realise
The love we had was just beyond compare
Then if the time is right
Maybe I'll hold her tight
My sentimental friend over there
I recall the way she used to feel
When we heard the sad songs
The tear drops would fall
And she'd hold me
And tell me she'd be
Forever with me
So won't you please...
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long,
Before you and me run
To the place in our hearts
Where we hide.
And I guess that's why
They call it the blues
Time on my hand
Could be time spent with you
Laughing like children
Living like lovers
Rolling like thunder
Under the covers
And I guess that's why
They call it the blues
Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second
Without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man
Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself.
Ain't that a shame
My tears fell like rain
Ain't that a shame
You're the one to blame.
Ain't that a shame...
Oh well -
Good bye -
Although -
I'll cry
Ain't that a shame...
You made -
Me cry -
When you said -
Goodbye
Ain't that a shame...
Oh well -
Good bye -
Although -
I'll cry
Ain't that a shame...
There's no regrets;
No tears good bye.
I don't want you back;
We'd only cry-y again,
Say goodbye again.
The hours that were yours, echo like empty rooms
The thoughts we used to share, I now keep alone
I woke last night, and spoke to you,
not thinking you were gone
And it felt so strange, to lie awake alone.
There's no regrets...
Our friends have tried, to turn my nights to day
Strange faces, a new place, can't keep the ghost away
Now just beyond the darkest hour,
and just before the dawn
It still feels so strange, to live my life alone
There's no regrets...
(guitar solo)
There's no regrets...
Bye-bye love
Bye-bye happiness
Hello loneliness
I think I'm gonna cry
Bye-bye love
Bye-bye sweet caress
Hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye-bye, my love, goodbye
There goes my baby
With someone new
She looks so happy
I sure am blue
She was my baby
Till he stepped in
Goodbye to romance
That might have been
Bye-bye love...
I'm through with romance
I'm through with love
I'm through with counting
The stars above
And here's the reason
That I'm so free
My loving baby
Is through with me
Bye-bye love...
Thanks to Kathryne
I painted "fight" on factories
But they closed the factory down
Gonna find out where the hearts gone
Gonna find out where the nerves gone
What do you do when democracy fails you
Aaaahh
What do you do when the rest can't see it's true
Aaaah
Pat votes the Scots way
Just like her mother
The south always takes all
Just like her brother
The next time she might vote
So might the others
But times running out pal
Cos they're giving up their numbers?
What do you do when democracy's all through
Aaaahh
What do you do when minority means you
Aaaahh
(x2)
I'd smoked my brain the night before
On cigarrettes and songs I'd been picking
But I lit my first and watched a small boy cursing
At a can he was kicking
And I crossed the empty street and caught
The Sunday smell of someone frying chicken
And it took me back to something I'd lost
Somewhere somehow along the way
On the Sunday morning sidewalks,
Wishing Lord that I was stoned
For there's something in a Sunday
Makes a body feel alone
And there's nothing short of dying
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sweeping city sidewalks
Sunday morning coming down
On the sunday morning sidewalks...
(x2)
I'm just on the blue side of lonesome
Right next to the Heartbreak Hotel
In a tavern that's known as Three Teardrops
On a barstool not doing so well
The floor has a carpet of sorrow
I'm just...
ArSol-
ArSol-
A soldier I will be
To Piss-
To Piss-
Two Pistols in my hand
Fah Que-
Fah Que-
For Curiosity
I'll fight for my count-
I'll fight for my count-
I'll fight for my country land
---oOo---
Oh show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed,
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
and its gone right to my head
Wherever I may roam
Be it land or sea or foam
You can always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home
or
Oh direct me to my abode
I wish to retire to my domicilary
I had a small alcoholic beverage approximately 60
minutes ago
And its affected me quite completely
Wherever I may perambulate
Be it terra...
---oOo---
ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly watcha
ging gang goo, ging gang googing gang gooly gooly gooly gooly watcha
ging gang goo, ging gang goo
Heyla, oh heyla sheyla, oh heyla sheyla heyla-oo!
Heyla, oh heyla sheyla, oh heyla sheyla heyla-oo.
Ging gang gooly wooly gooly wooly gooly wooly
Oompah Oompah...
In that valley there was a bog,
a rare bog, a rattling bog
A bog down in the valley oh,
In that bog there was a tree,
a rare tree, a rattling tree.
A tree in the bog, a bog down in the valley, oh.
On that tree there was a limb...
branch/twig/nest/egg/bird/wing/plume/flea/mite
etc/to: And/Then the fascinating witches who put the
stitches in the breeches of the boys who put the powder
on the noses on the faces of the ladies of the court of
King Caractacus, were just walking by,
If you want to take a picture of the fascinating witches...
YOU'RE TOO LATE!
'cos they've just, walked, by-y...
One morning in a fit of pique, sing...
One morning in a fit of pique,
She drowned her father in the creek
The water tasted bad for a week
And we had to make do with gin, with gin...
Her mother she could never stand...
And so a cyanide soup she planned
Her mother died with a spoon in her hand
And her face in a hideous grin, a grin...
She set her sisters hair on fire...
And as the smoke and flames rose higher
She danced around the funeral pyre
Playing a violin, 'olin, playing a violin.
She weighted her brother down with stone...
And sent him off to Davy Jones
All they ever found were some bones
And occasional pieces of skin, of skin...
One day when she had nothing to do...
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew,
And invited the neighbours in, 'bors in...
And when at last the police came by...
Her little pranks she didn't deny
To do so she would have had to lie
And lying she knew was a sin, a sin...
My tragic tale I won't prolong...
And if you didn't enjoy my song
You've yourselves to blame if its too long
You should never have let me begin, begin...
On Ilkley Moor bar' tat (where's that?)
On Ilkley Moor bar' tat
On Ilkley Moor bar' tat
(where the ducks fly backwards, play football, etc)
Tha's been a' courtin' Mary Jane (Mary Jane)
Tha's gonna catch tha death of cold...
Then we shall have to bury thee...
Then t'worms will come and eat thee up...
Then ducks will come and eat up t'worms...
Then we shall come and eat up ducks...
Then we shall all have aten thee...
I-I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm
You don't have to be a six footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on
A Catholic the moment dad came!
Be-ecause,
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great
If a spert is wasted, God gets quite irate
(Again as chorus)
(solo)
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for,
Each sperm that can't be found
Every sperm is wanted, every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed, in your neighbourhood
Hindus, Tauist and Mormon,
Spill them just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great...
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good...
Every sperm is useful, every sperm is fine
God needs everybodies, (mine and mine and mine)
Let the pagans spill them
On mountain, hill and plain
God shall strike them down
For each sperm that's spilt in vain
Every sperm is sacred...
Wisha-ring-dum doodle um a dah
Whack for the daddy-o
Whack for the daddy-o
There's whisky in the jar
I counted up his money, and it made a pretty penny
I took it home and I gave it to my Jenny
Oh she sighed and swore she never would betray me
But Devil take the women for they never can be easy
I went up to my chamber all for to take a slumber
I dreamt of gold and jewels
and be sure it was no wonder
But Jenny took my charges
And she filled them up with water
And sent for Captain Farrell
to be ready for the slaughter
Twas early in the morning before I rose to travel
Up comes a band of footmen
and likewise Captain Farrell
I pulled out my pistol for she'd stolen away my rapier
But I couldn't shoot water, so a prisoner I was taken
And if anyone can aid me it's me brother in the army
If I could learn his station in Cork or in Killarny
We'd go a rovin' in Kilkenny,
and drinking in Dunderry
He'd treat me better than my darlin' sportin' Jenny
For old lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary foot
Sin' auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidled i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.
And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine;
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
So how can you tell me you're lone-ly,
And say for you that the sun don't shine?
Let me take you by the hand
And lead you through the streets of London.
I'll show you something, to make you change your mind.
Have you seen the old girl
Who walks the streets of London,
Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rags?
She's no time for talking,
She just keeps right on walking,
Carrying her home in two carrier bags.
In the all night cafe at a quarter past eleven,
Same old man sitting there on his own,
Looking at the world over the rim of his teacup,
Each tea lasts an hour, and he wanders home alone.
Have you seen the old man
outside the seamans mission,
Memory fading with the medal ribbons that he wears?
In our winter city the rain cries a little pity,
For one more forgotten hero and a world that doesn't
care.
Look for the bare necessities,
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Or mother nature's recipies
That bring the bare necessities of life.
Wherever I wander, wherever I roam,
I couldn't be fonder of my big home.
The bee's are buzzing in the trees
To make some honey just for me
When you look, under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants,
And maybe try a few.
The bare necessities of life will come to you,
They'll come to you.
When you pick a paw paw, or a prickly pear,
And you prick a raw paw, next time, beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by paw,
When you pick a pear try to use the claw.
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big paw paw
Have I given you a clue?
The bare necessities of life will come to you,
They'll come to you.
That's why I'm easy,
I'm easy like Sunday Mornings.
That's why I'm e-easy,
I'm easy like Sunday Mornings.
That's why...
I want to be hi-igh, so high.
I want to be free, to know the things I do are right
I want to be free, just free, oh baby.
That's why...
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in
And I would have liked to know/loved you
But I was just a kid.
The candle burned out long before, the legend never did
Loneliness is tough,
the toughest role you ever played,
Hollywood created superstar,
And pain was the price you paid.
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you,
All the papers had to say
Was that Marilyn was found in the nude
Goodbye Norma Jean
Although I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled.
Goodbye Norma Jean
From the young man in the twenty second row,
Who see's you as something more than sexual,
More than just Marylin Munroe.
And it seems to me...
The candle... (again)
Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Goodbye my friend its hard to die
With all the birds singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of
time.
Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
Goodbye Papa...
...air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons are all gone.
x2
Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And everytime that I was down
You would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground
Goodbye Michelle...
...air
With the flowers everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach were just starfish on the
beach.
"Let her go down - swim for your lives.
Swim for your children,
Swim for your wives,
But let her go down, just let her go down"
He wondered if his ship mates,
Were ready just to plain give in
So he called their names out one by one,
But there was no-one else around but him
And with his dying breath, we all heard him say,
"'Tis the fortune of a sailor"
Then he said "Never mind the ship me boys,
'Cos none of us here can save her"
"Let her go down...
Lost in the open ocean,
There was some of the crew with me
While the captain steered our wounded ship,
To the bottom of an angry sea
We saw the ship go down in the fading light,
And we knew we could have saved her
I said "The captain lied, when the captain cried,
That none of us here can save her"
"Let her go down...
...Just let her go down"
I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.
The colours of the rainbow,
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands,
Saying "How do you do?"
They're really saying,
I love you.
I hear babies crying,
I watch them grow
They'll learn much more,
Than I'll ever know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made, to go out and get here
The minute, you let her under your skin
Then you'll begin, to make it better
And any time, you feel the pain,
Hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For now you know that it's a fool
Who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Da da da da-da-da da
Hey Jude don't let me down
You have found her, now go out and get her.
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start, to make it better
So let it out and let it in.
Hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you
Hey Jude, you'll do.
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Da da da da-da-da da
Hey Jude, don't make it bad;
Tae a sad song, and make it better
Remember, to let her under your skin
Then you'll begin, to make it better
Better, better, better, better ,better.
Daa, da da da-da-daa etc
Oh he rode up hill & he rode down dale,
Over many a wild high mountain
And they did say who saw hiw go
"Black Jack Davy, he is hunting"
He rode east and he rode west, all in the morning early
Until he finds his lady there, cold and wet and weary
"Why did you leave your house and land?
Why did you leave your baby?
Why did you leave your own wedded Lord
To go with the Black Jack Davy? "
Oh he rode...
"What care I for your goose-feather bed,
Your sheets and arms around me?
When I may sleep on the cold hard ground
Along with the Black Jack Davy
Then I'll pick up my high heel shoes
Made of Spanish leather
And I'll put on my lowland Brogues,
And skippeth on the Heather"
Oh he rode...
(x2)
The Devil came down to Georgia
He was looking for some souls to steal...
And he was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind
And was willin' to make a deal.
When he came upon this young man playing
a fiddle and playin' it hot
...so he jumped right up on this hickory stick...
"Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it
but I'm a fiddle player too,
And if you care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle boy,
but give the devil his due
I'll bet a fiddle of gold agianst your soul
'Cos I think I'm better than you
The boy said "My name's Jonny, And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, and you're gonna regret
Cos I'm the best there's ever been.
Jonny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard
'Cos hell broke loose in Georgia
And the Devil deals the cards
And if you win you'll get this shiny fiddle made of gold
But if you loose the devil gets your soul.
The Devil opened up his case
And he said "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow
And he pulled the bow across the strings
And it made an evil hiss
Then a band of demons joined in
And it sounded something like this ...
When the devil finished Jonny said
"Well you're pretty good old son
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how its done"
Fire on the mountain, run boys run
Devils in the House of the rising sun
Chicken in the bread pan a pickin out dough
Ready when you're ...go child go
And he played
Fire on...
The devil went down to Scunthorpe, looking for a soul to steal
In a bind an' way behind he was willin' to make a deal.
He came across this young man pickin' on a guitar, playing it hot an'
An' the devil jumped on a hickory stump an' said 'I'll tell ya what'
I guess you didn't know it, I'm a guitar player too,
and if you care to take a dare I make a bet with you.
Now you play a real good guitar boy, but give the devil his due,
I'll bet a guitar of gold against you soul 'cause i think i'm better then you.
The boy said my name's Johnny, it might be a sin, i'll take your bet
You're gonna regret, I'm the best I've ever been.
Johnny rosen up your pick an' play your guitar hard
'cause hell's broke loose in scunthorpe an' the devil deals the cards.
Now if you win you'll get this shinny guitar made of gold,
but if you loose the devil gets your soul!
The devil opened up his case and said 'i'll start this gig'
and fire flew from his finger tips as he rosened up his pick.
He strummed the pick across the strings it made an evil hiss
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somthing like this
When the devil finished Johnny said 'You're pretty good ol' son,
but sit down in that chair right there let me show you how it's done!'
Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
Devil's in the house of the risen sun!
Chicken in the bread pan picken out dough!
Granny does your dog bite, no child, no!
The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat,
and he laid that golden gitar on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said 'devil just come on back if you ever want to try again,
I done told you once you son of a bitch i'm the best I've ever been!'
Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
Devil's in the house of the risen sun!
Chicken in the bread pan picken out dough!
Granny does your dog bite, no child, no!
We held on for six weeks like each day were the last
We tarried and shifted till now we're quite fast
We lived upon nettles whilst nettles were good
And Waterloo porridge was best to us food
Our Billy our bairn, he kept telling me long
We'd have far better times if I'd never held me tongue
But I've 'eld me tongue 'till I can scarce catch me breath
And I feel in me heart, nettles soon clam to death
Our Margaret declares, if her'd clothes to put on
Her'd go up to London for to see the Great Man
And if things didn't alter after there 'er had been
Her declares "I would fight! Wi' blood up t' chin!"
I'm a four loom weaver, as many one knows
I've knowt to put on I've wore out me clothes
Our Billy's all right for he'd never clean
And I've woven meself to foreign...
All that she wants, is a bowl of gravy
She'll have stew tomorrow boy
All that she wants, is a bowl of gravy
(low whistle)
So if you are in sight
And the day is right
She's the hunter you're the fox
A gentle voice that talks to you
Won't talk for ever
It's a night of passion but
The morning waves goodbye
Beware of what is flashing in her eyes
She's going to get you
All that she wants...
So bye, bye, ....
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so.
Do you believe in Rock'n'Roll
Can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well I know that you're in love with him
Cos I saw you dancing in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes,
Man I dig those rythm & blues
I was a lonely teenage bronking buck,
Pink carnations and pick up truck
But I knew I was out of luck, The day the music died,
I started singing, bye, bye...
Now for ten years we've been on our own,
And moss grows fat on a rolling stone
But that's not how it used to be.
When the Jester sang for the King and Queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean,
And a voice that came from you and me
And while the King was looking down,
The Jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned, no verdict was returned
And while Lennin read a book on Marx,
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark, the day the music died,
We were singing bye, bye, ....
We were singing bye, bye, ....
And then we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble, jack be quick,
Jack flash sat on a candle stick
Cos fire is the devils only friend.
And as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in heaven could break that Satan spell
and as the planes climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial right
I saw satan laughing with delight, the day the music died
Bye, bye....
I met a girl who sang the blues,
And I asked her for some happy news
but she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed,
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
And not a word was spoken, the church bells all were
broken.
And the three men I admire the most,
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast,
The day the music died.
And they were singing "Bye, bye...
x2
Didn't we have a lovely time, the day we went to Bangor
A beautiful day we had lunch on the way
And all for under a pound you know,
But on the way back I cuddled with Jack
And we opened a bottle of cider
Singing a few of our favourite songs
As the wheels went round.
Didn't we...
Wasn't it nice eating chocolate ice
As we strolled around the fun-fair
Then we ate meals in a big ferris wheel
As we sailed above the ground but then
We had to be quick cos Elsie felt sick
And we had to find somewhere to take her
Said to her lad "What made her feel bad?"
"Was the wheels going round"
Didn't we...
Elsie and me we finished our tea
And said good-bye to the sea-side
?Stand box closer to us?
...isn't it a shame to go
Wouldn't it be grand to have cash on demand
And to live like this for always
What makes me feel ill when I think on the meal
And the wheels going round
Didn't we...
Ho lads! You should ha' seen us gannin
Passin' the folks along the road,Just as they were stannin'
All the lads and lasses there and all with smiling faces
Gannin' along the Scotswood road,
To see the Blaydon Races
And when we got to Weywood town,
Away we went again
Them that had their noses broke
Had to go back out again
Some went to the dispensery
And some to Dr Gibbs
And some went to the infirmery
To mend a broken ribses
And when we come to Paradise
There was many who wanted on
There was four and twenty on the bus man
Ho! They danced and sung!
They called on me to sing a song
And I sang them Paddy Feigen
And I danced a jig and I twirled me twig
On the day we went to Blaydon
We flew across the chain bridge,
Right into Blaydon toon
The bellman he was calling there
They call him Jackie Broon
I saw him talking to some chaps
And he was then persuaded
To ganna see Geordie Wrigley-Shaw
The mechanics
harl
(?)
in Blaydon
The rain it poured all the day
It made the ground quite muddy
Korfee Jack had a white hat on
And yelled
""
(?)
There was Spice Stars and Monkey Stars
and All-whites scrumpy cider
Runnin round the round-a-bout
Yellin
xxx
(?)
Let the wind blow high let the wind blow low
Through the streets in my kilt I'll go
All the lassie's say "Hello!
Donald where's yer trewsers?"
A lassie took me to a ball
And it was slippery in the hall
And I was fear't that I would fall
For I hadnae on me trewsers
Now I went down to London town
And I had some fun on the underground
The ladies turned their heads around
Saying "Donald where are your trousers?"
To wear the kilt is my delight
It is not wrong, I know it's right
The islanders would get a fright
If they saw me in me trewsers
The lassies want me everyone
Well let them catch me if they can
Ye canna get the breaks off a highland man
And I'll not wear me trewsers...
'Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
'You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me,'
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled
'You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.'
Down came a jumbuck to drink at the billabong
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee;
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag,
'You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me!'
Up rode the squatter mounted on his thoroughbred;
Down came the troopers - one, two and three.
'Whose the jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?
You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.'
Up jumped the swagman, sprang into the billabong
'You'll never catch me alive,' said he.
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
'Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?'
Thanks to Caroline
Underground, overground, wombling free
The wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
Making good use of the things that we find
Things that the every day folks leave behind
Uncle Bulgaria, he can remember the day
When he wasn't behind the times
Where there's enough of the
world
(?)
Pick up the pieces and take them to Tobermory
Wombles are organised, work as a team
Wombles are tidy, wombles are clean.
Underground, overground, wombling free
The wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
We're so incredibly, utterly devious
Making good use of everything
Even bottles and tins
Pick up the pieces and make them into something new
That's what we do.
Underground...
Someday you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms,
And you'll no longer yearn to be
Brothers in arms.
Through these fields of destruction,
Baptisms of fire,
I've witnessed your suffering,
As the battle raged higher.
I know that it happens, so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me, my
Brothers in arms.
There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different
worlds
(?)
Now the suns got to he-ll,
The moon riding high.
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die.
But it's written in the starlight
And every line in your palm:
We're fools to make war on our
Brothers in arms.
My mother was a tailor
Sewed my new blue jeans
My father was a gambling man
Down in New Orleans
Now the only things a gambler needs
Is the suitcase and a trunk
And the only time he feels satisfied
Is when he's on a drunk
Oh Mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your life in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun
Well I've got one foot on the platfrom
The other on a train
I'm going back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain
Well there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know, I'm one.
Mmmm
When I left my home and family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of a railway station - running scared
Laying low seeking out the poorer quarters
where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know.
La La Lay....
Asking only workman's wages I go looking for a job
But I get no offers
Just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome I
took some comfort there...
la la la la...
La La Lay....
Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
and wishing I was gone
Going home...
When a New York City winters leading me...
Leading me...
Going Home
In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out, in his anger and his shame
"I am leaving I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains...
La La Lay
x2
Mmmm
When I left my home and my family
I was no more than insane(/n-n-n-nineteen)
In the company of students
In the quiet of a study room - reading hard
Getting stoned, seeking out the cheaper quarters
Where the drunken people go
Looking for the places students never know.
La La Lay...
Asking only part-time wages I go looking for a job
But I get no offers
Just an offer from the Waitrose checkout desks
I do declare there were times I was so desperate I
took some working there
la la la la...
La La Lay...
Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
and wishing I was warm
Getting stoned...
With a Scottish City winter chilling me
Freezing me...
Getting stoned.
In the lecture stands a borer and a teacher by his trade
And he carries a reminder
Of every piece of knowledge he must
Cram into his students, in his expertise and skill
He is boring, he is boring
But the students still remain...
Fast asleep...
Now they say I am a war criminal
And I'm fading away.
Father, please hear my confession.
I have legalised robbery,
Called it belief.
I have run with the money;
I have hid like a thief,
Rewritten history with my armies and my crooks.
Invented memories.
I did burn all those books.
And I can still hear his laughter
And I can still hear his song.
The man's too big;
The man's too strong.
Well I tried to be meek,
I have tried to be mild,
But I wept like a woman
And I sobbed like a child
I have lived behind walls
That I may be alone
Striven for peace
Which I never have known
And I can still hear his laughter
I can still hear his song
The man's too big;
The man's too strong.
Well the sun rose on the courtyard
And they all did hear him say
"You always was a Judas
But I got you anyway
You may have got your silver
But I swear upon my life
Your sister gave me diamonds
And I give 'em to your wife?"
Oh father please help me,
For I have done wrong
The man's too big
The man's too strong.
I miss the earth so much
I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight
And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh No, no, no.
Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no-one there to raise them if you did
And all this science, I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A Rocket Man.
I left my home in Georgia,
Headed for the 'Frisco Bay.
'Cos I had nothing left to live for
And looks like nothing gonna come my way.
So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the ti-ide roll away
Sitting on the dock of the bay
Wasting ti-ime.
Looks like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same
(Yes) Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
(Yes) Two thousand miles I'll roam
Just to make this dock my home
Now I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Now I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wasting ti-ime...
Thanks to Kathryne
Hey! Like a surgeon!
Cutting for the very first time.
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants
are my line
Better give me all your
gozznars
(?)
This patients fading fa-ast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last
Let me see, that IV.
Here we go, time to operate
I'll pull his insides out
Pull his i-insides out
And see what he ate...
Like a surgeon, Hey!
Cutting for the very first time.
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver,
for you to sii-ign
It's a fact,
I'm a quack
But its great, of the AMA
Cos my patients die,
Yeah my pa-atients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, Hey!
Cutting for the very first time
Like a surgeon,
Got your kidneys
on my mind.
Like a surgeon
ooo like a surgeon
When I reach inside
with my scalple
And my forceps
and retractors
Yeah! I can hear your heartbeat,
for the very last time...
And -
Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)
Always look on the light side of life (whistle)
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
And always look on the bright side of life (whistle)
Always look on the light side of life (whistle)
So always look on the bright side of death (whistle)
Just before you draw your terminal breath (whistle)
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And always look on the bright side of life (whistle)
Always look on the light side of life (whistle)
Always...
Always...
Always...
So I just did me some talking to the sun
Told him I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleeping on the job
Those raindrops keep falling on my head
They keep falling
But there's one thi-ing, I kno-ow
The blues they send to meet me
Won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes
will soon be turning red
Crying's not for me
Cos -
I'm not gonna stop the rain by complaining
Because I'm free-e
Nothing's worrying me.
(last verse again)
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night.
There she stood in the doorway
I heard a mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
Then she lit up her candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices in the corridor
Thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place
Renting a/Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find me here.
Her mind is bitterly twisted
She got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
That she calls friends
How they danced in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget
So I called up the captain
Please bring me my wine
He said "we haven't had that spirit here since
Ninety sixty nine"
And still those voices are calling from far away
We got up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such...
Living it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surpriseWith your alibies
Mirrors on the ceiling
You drink champaigne on ice
And she said "we are all just prisoners here
Of our own device"
And in the Master's chambers
They gather for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can't kill the beast.
Last thing I remember
I was heading for the door
I had to find a passage back
To the place I was before
"Good Night" said the nightman
"We are programmed to recieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
It's gonna be a bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright) sunshiny day.
I think I can make it now the pain has gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for.
It's gonna be a bright (bright) sunshiny day.
Look all around, there's nothing but blue sky
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue sky.
It's gonna be a bright (bright) sunshiny day.
If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell
About Della and the dealer and the dog as well
But the cat was cool And he never said a mumblin' word.
Down Tucson way there's a small cafe
Where they play a little cowboy tune
And the guitar picker was a friend of mine
By the name of Randy Boon.
Yeh, Randy played her a sweet love song
And Della got a fire in her eyes
The dealer had a knife
The dog had a gun
The cat had a shot o' rye.
If that cat...
Yeah the dealer was a killer
He was evil and mean
And he was jealous of the fire in her eyes.
He snorted his coke through a century note
And he swore that Boon would die
Yeh, the stage was set when the lights went out
There was death in TwoSun town.
Two shadows ran for the bar back door
One stayed on the ground.
If that cat... x2
Two shadows ran from the bar that night
And a dog and a cat ran too.
And the tyres got hot on the pick-up truck
As down the road they flew.
It was Della and her lover
and A dog named Jake and a cat named Kalamazoo.
Left TwoSun in the pickup truck,
Gonna make some dreams true.
If that cat...
x3
The days of Pearly Spencer,
Aha,
The race is almost run.
Nose pressed hard on frosted glass
Gazing at the swollen mass
On concrete fields where grows no grass
Stumbles blindly on
Iron trees smother the air
But in a ring they stand and stare
Through eyes that neither know nor care
Where the grass has gone.
The days...
Pearly where's your milk-white skin?
What's that stubble on your chin?
Buried in the rotgut gin,
You played and lost not won.
You played a house that can't be beat,
Now look your heads bowed in defeat
You walked too far along the street
Where only rats can run.
The days...
x2
They were closer now Fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid Fernando
We were young and full of life
And none of us prepared to die
And I'm not ashamed to say
The roar of gun and cannon almost made me cry
There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me,
For liberty, Fernando
Though we never thought we could lose,
There's no regrets
If I had to do the same again,
I would my friend, Fernando
If I had to do the same again,
I would my friend, Fernando.
Now we're old and gray Fernando
Since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hands
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
Do you still recall the night
We crossed the Rio Grand?
I can see it in your eyes,
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land.
There was...
x2
The hills of forest green,
Where mountains touch the sky,
Dreams come true, I'll live there till I die.
I'm asking you, to say my last goodbye
The love we knew, ain't worth another try.
Save me, from all the trouble and the pain,
I know I'm weak, but I can't face that girl again.
Tell her the reasons why I can't remain,
Perhaps she'll understand, if you tell it to her plain
But how can words express the feel
Of sunlight in the morning,
In the hills, away from city strife,
I need a country woman for my wife,
I'm city born but I love the country life
For I will not be part of her cocktail generation,
Where partners waltz, devoid of all romance,
The music plays, and everyone must dance,
I'm bowing out, I need a second chance,
Save me, from all the trouble & the pain,
I know I'm weak, but I cant face that girl again.
Tell her the reasons why I can't remain,
Perhaps she'll understand, if you tell it to her plain
And if she asks you why,
You can tell her that I told you,
That I'm tired, of castles in the air.
I've got a dream, I want the world to share,
And castle walls, just lead me to despair
I told Billy Ray, in his red Chevrolet
Needed time for some thinking.
I was just walkin' by
When I looked in her eye
And I swore it was winking
(Change)
She was thirty-one I was seventeen
I knew nothing about love she knew everything
I sat down beside her on the front porch swing
And wondered what the coming night would bring.
(Revert)
The sun closed her eyes
As it climbed in the sky
And it started to swelter.
The sweat trickled down
The front of her gown
And I thought it would melt her.
She threw back her hair
Like I wasn't there
She sipped on her julep
Her shoulders were bare
And I tried not to stare
When I looked at her two lips
(Change)
Then she looked at me, I heard her softly say
I know you're young and don't know what to do or say
But stay with me until the sun has gone away
And I will chase the boy in you away
And she smiled and we talked for a while
Then we walked for a mile to the sea.
We sat on the sand
And a boy took her hand
But I saw the sun rise as a man.
(Revert)
Ten years have gone by
Since I looked in her eye
But the memory lingers.
I go back in my mind
To the very first time
And the touch of her fingers
Was a hot afternoon
In the last day of June
And the sun was a demon...
But Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
The first time I met you it did cross my mind
The next time I saw you there wasn't the time
The third time I met you I thought that I could
The fourth time I met you I knew that I would
But Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
I love her I love her I love her...
I want you for ever I want you for good
So I'm gonna treat you the way that I should
For you stole me body, you stole my heart pound
Even after the day I'm lain in the ground
But Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you
I love her I love her I love her...
Between the parted pages
And were pressed
In love's hot fevered iron
Like a stripy pair of pants
McArthers park is melting in the dark
All the sweet cream icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
Cos it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have the recipe again
I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds like tender babies,
In your hands
And the old men playing checkers
By the trees
McArthers park...
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will break it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.
I will take my life into my hands
And I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes
And I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
Oh after all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of youAnd wondering, why...
(Instrumental bit)
McArthers park...
There are times, when all the world's asleep
The questions run too deep, for such a simple man.....
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd, but please tell me who I am...
I said now what would you say,
They'll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Oh won't you sign up with me,
We'd like to be more acceptable
Respectable, oh presentable, affectionable.
But at night, when all the world's asleep...
Oh, He was too far from home
She took his hand & she
Led him along that golden beach
They watched the waves tumble over the sand
They drove for miles and miles
On those twisting turning roads
Higher and higher and higher they climbed
In those Holywood nights
In those Holywood hills
She was looking so right
In her diamonds and frills
In those big city lights
In those high rolling hills
Above all the lights
She had all of her skills
Yeh, he had lost all control
Night after night, and day after day it went on and on
Then came that morning he woke up alone
He spent all night staring down at the lights of LA
Wondering if he could ever go home
In those Holywood nights
In those Holywood hills
It was looking so right
It was giving him chills
In those big city lights
In those high rolling hills
Above all the lights
And the passion that kills
In those hollywood nights
In those hollywood hills
She was looking so right
In her diamonds and frills
All those big city lights
In those high rolling hills
Above all the lights
She had all of her skills
I rise up this morning
Smile with the rising sun
Three little birds
Sit by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
in melodies pure and true
Singing
this is my message to you
(First verse again, then whole lot)
Lazy Sunday afternoon, I've got no mind to worry
Close my eyes and drift away...
Here we all are, sitting on a rainbow
Hello Mrs Jones, how is your lumbago?
I'll sing you a song, with no words and no tune
I'll sing at your party while you suss out the moon, oh yeah
There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
(Altogether now)
With a word she can get...
Oooh and it makes me wonder
(How does it make you blokes feel?)
Oooh and it makes us wonder
There's a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
Because you know sometimes words have two meanings
(Altogether now)
Because...
(spoken)
A lot of words have two meanings. Like, in
this song, bought and brought. Ah no, that's to
buy... Anyway, a lot of words do have two
meanings
In the tree by the brook
There's a songbird that sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are Miss Given
Sometimes...
(spoken)
Ladies and gents, Miss Given. Change of
instruments please, Miss Given. Isn't it nice to
have you're name in the song? Round of
applause there for Miss Given
etc...
O Lord our God, arise
Scatter her enemies
And make them fall;
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix
Oh, save us all!
Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign;
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice,
God save the Queen!
Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free,
How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?
Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set;
God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet.
Thy fame is ancient as the days,
As Ocean large and wide;
A pride that dares, and heeds not praise,
A stern and silent pride:
Not that false joy that dreams content
With what our sires have won;
The blood a hero sire hath spent
Still nerves a hero son.
Land of...
'Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves;
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves'
The nations, not so blest as thee,
Must in their turns to tyrants fall (.2)
While thou shalt flourish great and free,
The dread and envy of them all.
Still more majestic shalt thou rise,
More dreadful from each foreign stroke; (.2)
As the loud blast that tears the skies
Serves but to root thy native oak
Thee haughty tyrants ne'er shall tame;
All their attempts to bend thee down (.2)
Will but arouse thy generous flame,
And work their woe and thy renown.
To thee belongs the rural reign;
Thy cities shall with commerce shine (.2)
All thine shall be the subject main
And every shore it circles thine.
The Muses, still with freedom found,
Shall to thy happy coast repair: (.2)
Blest isle with matchless beauty crowned,
And manly hearts to gaurd the fair.
The Hills are bare now,
And Autumn leaves
lie thick and still,
O'er land that is lost now,
Which those so dearly held,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.
Those days are past now,
And in the past
they must remain,
But we can still rise now,
And be the nation again,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.
0 Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.
Bring me my bow of shining gold
Bring me my arrows of desire
Bring me my spear, oh clouds unfold
Bring me my chariot of fire
I will not cease from mental fight
Nor shall my sword sleep ini my hand
'Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
The sand of the desert is sodden red,-
Red with the wreck of a square that broke;-
The Gatlings jammed and the Colonel's dead,
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
The river of death has brimmed his banks,
And England far, and Honour, a name,
But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks:
"Play up! play up and play the game!"
This is the word that year by year,
While in her place the School is set,
Every one of her sons must hear,
And none that hears it dare forget.
This they all with joyful mind
Bear through life like a torch in flame,
And falling, fling to the host behind -
"Play up! play up and play the game!"
On Dyfed's richest valley,
Where herds of kine were browsing
We made a sudden sally
To furnish our carousing.
Fierce warriors rushed to meet us;
We met them, and o'erthrew them:
They struggled hard to beat us;
But we conquered them, and slew them.
As we drove our prize at leisure,
The king marched forth to catch us:
His rage surpassed all measure,
But his people could not match us.
He fled to his hall-pillars;
And, ere our force we led off,
Some sacked his house and cellars,
While others cut his head off.
We there, in strife bewildering,
Spilt blood enough to swim in;
We orphaned many children,
And widowed many women.
The eagles and the ravens
We glutted with our foemen:
The heroes and the cravens,
The spearmen and the bowmen.
We brought away from battle,
And much their land bemoaned them,
Two thousand head of cattle
And the head of him who owned them:
Ednyfed, King of Dyfed,
His head was borne before us:
His wine and his beasts supplied our feasts,
And his overthrow, our chorus.
"Forward the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismayed?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blundered:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the Valley of Death
Rode the Six Hundred.
Cannon to right of them
Cannon to left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the Six Hundred.
Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turned in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd.
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right through the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd
Then they rode back, but not-
Not the Six Hundred.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of Death,Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them
Left of the Six Hundred.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade!
Noble Six Hundred!
Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green
That host with their banners at sunset were seen
Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown
That host on the morrow lay wither'd and strewn.
For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed
And the eye's of the sleepers waxed heavy and chill
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!
And there lay a steed with his nostrils all wide,
But through it there roll'd not the breath of his pride;
And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf
And cold as the spray of the rock-beating surf.
And there lay the rider distorted and pale,
With the dew on his brow and the rust on his mail;
And the tents were all silent and the banners alone,
The lances unlifted, the trumpet unblown.
And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,
And the idols are broke in the temple of Baal;
And the might of the Gentile, unsmote by the sword,
Hath melted like snow in the glance of the Lord!
Come you back to Mandalay,
Where the old Flotilla lay:
Can't you 'ear their paddles chunkin'
From Rangoon to Mandalay?
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the flyin' fishes play,
An' the dawn comes up like thunder
out o' China 'crost the Bay!
'Er petticoat was yaler
an' 'er little cap was green,
An' 'er name was Supi-yaw-lat -
jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen,
An I seed her first a smokin'
of a whackin' white cheroot,
An' a wastin' Christian kisses
on an 'eathen idol's foot:
Bloomin' idol made o' mud -
Wot they called the Great Gawd Budd-
Plucky lot she cared for idols
when I kissed her where she stood!
On the road to Mandalay...
When the mist was on the rice fields
an' the sun was droppin' slow,
She'd git 'er little banjo
an' she'd sing "Kulla-lo-lo!"
With 'er arm upon my shoulder
an' 'er cheek agin my cheek
We useter to watch the steamers
an' hathis pilin' teak.
Elephants a-pilin' teak
In the sludgy, squdgy creek,
Where the silence 'ung that 'eavy
you was 'arf afraid to speak!
On the road to Mandalay...
But that's all shove be'ind me -
long ago an' far away,
An' there ain't no buses runnin
from the Bank to Mandalay;
An' I'm learnin' 'ere in London
what the ten-year soldier tells:
"If you've 'eard the East a-callin',
you won't never 'eed naught else"
No you won't 'eed nothin' else
But them spicy garlic smells
An' the sunshine an' the palm trees
An the tinkly temple-bells.
On the road to Mandalay...
I am sick o' wastin leather
on these gritty pavin' stones,
An' the blasted English drizzle
wakes the fever in my bones;
Tho' I walks with fifty 'ousemaids
out o' Chelsea to the Strand,
An' they talks a lot o' lovin'
but wot do they understand?
Beefy face an grubby 'and -
Law! wot do they understand?
I've a neater, sweeter maiden
In a cleaner, greener land!
On the road to Mandalay....
Ship me somewhere east of Suez
where the best is like the worst,
Where there aren't no Ten Commandments
an' a man can raise a thirst;
For the temple bells are callin'
an' it's there that I would be -
By the old Moulmein Pagoda,
lookin lazy at the sea;
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the old Flotilla lay,
With our sick beneath the awnings
when we went to Mandalay!
O, the road to Mandalay,
Where the flyin' fishes play,
An' the dawn comes up like thunder
out o' China 'crost the Bay!
He was known as "Mad Carew"
by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks,
he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
He had loved her all along,
with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty one
and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.
He wrote to ask what present
she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then
that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.
On the night before the dance,
Mad Carew seemed in a trance
And they chaffed him as they puffed on their cigars;
But for once he failed to smile,
and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.
He returned before the dawn,
with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away,
and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if
they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying
"That's from Mad Carew",
And she found the little green eye of the God.
She upbraided poor Carew
in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn't take the stone,
and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get.
When the ball was at its height,
on that still and tropical night,
She thought of him and hastened to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square
she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing through the gloom.
His door was open wide,
with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp'ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried
in the heart of Mad Carew,
Twas the Vengeance of the Little Yellow God.
There's a one-eyed yellow idol
to the north of Khatmandu,
There's a little marble cross below the town
There's a broken hearted woman
tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
So find me a seat and buy me a drink
And a tale to you I'll tell
Of Dead-eye Dick and Mexico Pete
And the gentle Eskimo Nell.
When Dead-eye Dick and Mexico Pete
Go out in search of fun
It's Dead-eye Dick that wields the prick
And Mexico Pete the gun.
But if Dead-Eye Dick and the greaser runt
Are sore, distressed and sad,
Its mostly cunt that bears the brunt,
Though the shooting ain't too bad.
Now Dead Eye Dick and Mexico Pete
Had been hunting up Deadmans creek
And they'd had no luck in the way of a fuck
For nigh on half a week!
Just a moose or two and a carribou
And a buffalo cow or so
But for Dead Eye Dick with his kingly prick
Such fucking was mighty slow
So do or dare the horny pair
Set off for the Reo Grande.
Dead Eye Dick with his swinging prick
Pete with gun in hand.
Thus they blazed their randy trail
And few their fire withstood
And many a bride who was hubby's pride
Knew pregnant widowhood.
They made the strand of the Reo Grande
At the height of a blazing noon
And to slake their thirst and do their worst
They sought Black Mikes saloon.
As the swing doors opened wide,
Both prick and gun flashed free.
"According to sex you bleeding wrecks,
You drinks or fucks with me"
Now they'd heard of the prick called Dead Eye Dick
From the Horn to Panama
So with little worse than a muttered curse
Those dagoes lined the bar.
The women too knew his playful ways
Down on the Reo Grande,
So forty whores tore down their draws
At Dead Eye Dicks command.
They saw the fingers of Mexico Pete
Twitch on the trigger grip
'Twas death to wait - at a fearful rate
Those whores began to strip
Now Dead Eye Dick was breathing quick
With lecherous snorts and grunts
As forty arses were bared to view
To say nothing of forty cunts.
Now forty arses and forty cunts
You'll see if you use your wits
And rattle a bit at arithmetic -
That's likewise eighty tits.
And eighty tits is a gladsome sight
For a man with a raging stand.
It may be rare on Berkeley Square
But not on the Rio Grande.
Our Dead Eye Dick, he fuck's 'em quick
So he backed and took a run
He took a jump at the nearest rump
And scored a hole in one.
He bore her to the sandy floor
And fucked her deep and fine
And though she grinned it put the wind
up the other thirty nine.
For when Dead Eye Dick performs the trick
There's scarce time to spare
For with speed and strength, on top of length
He fairly singes hair.
Our Dead Eye Dick he fucks 'em quick
And flinging the first aside
And made a dart at the second tart,
When the swing doors opened wide.
And into that hall of sin and vice -
Into that harlot's hell,
Strode a gentle maid who was unafraid
And her name was Eskimo Nell.
Now Dead Eye Dick had got his prick
Well into number two
When Eskimo Nell let out a yell
And called to him "Hey You!"
The hefty lout he turned about
Both nob and face were red
With a single flick of his mighty prick
The tart flew over his head
But Eskimo Nell she stood it well
And she looked him in the eyes
With the utmost scorn she looked at the horn
That rose from his hairy thighs.
She stubbed out the butt of her cigerette
On the end of his gleaming nob
And so utterly beat was Mexico Pete
He forgot to do his job
It was Eskimo Nell who was first to speak
In accents calm and cool
"You cuntstruck shrimp of a Yankee pimp
Do you call that thing a tool?"
"If this here town can't take that down"
She sneered at the cowering whores
"Here's one cunt that can do that stunt
And it's Eskimo Nell's, not yours"
She shed her garments one by one
With an air of concious pride
Till at last she stood in her womanhood
And they saw the Great Divide.
Tis fair to state was not so great
For the strength lay well within
And a better word thats often heard
Would not be cunt but quim.
She laid right down on the tabletop
Where someone had left a glass
With a flick of her tits she ground it to bits
Between the cheeks of her arse.
She bent her knees with supple ease
And opened her legs apart
With a smiling nod to the randy sod
She gave him the cue to start
But Dead Eye Dick with his king of a prick
Prepared to take his time
For a miss like this was perfect bliss
So he staged a pantomime.
He flicked his foreskin up and down
He made his balls inflate
Until they looked like two granite knobs
Upon a garden gate
He winked his arsehole in and out
And his balls increased in size
His mighty prick grew twice as thick
And almost reached his eyes.
He polished it well with alcohol
To get it steaming hot
And to finish the job he sprinkled the knob
With a cayenne pepper pot.
He didn't back to take a run
Nor make a flying leap
But bent right down and came 'longside
With a steady, forward creep.
Then he took a sight as a gunman might
Along his mighty tool
And the slow glide as it slid inside
Was firm, calculating and cool.
Have you seen the massive pistons
On the giant CPR?
With the driving force of a thousand horse -
But you know what pistons are.
Or you think you do if you've yet to view
The power that drives the prick
Or the work thats done on a non-stop run
By a man like Dead-Eye Dick
None but a fool would challenge his tool
No thinking man would doubt
For his fame increased as the High Priest
Of the ceaseless in-and-out.
But Eskimo Nell was an infidel
And equalled a whole harem
With the strength of ten in her abdomen
And her Rock of Ages beam.
Amidships she could stand the rush
Like the flush of a water-closet
So she grasped his cock like the Chatwood lock
On the National Safe Deposit
But Dead-Eye Dick would not come quick -
He meant to conserve his powers
When in the mind he'd grind and grind
For more than a couple of hours
She lay for a while with a subtle smile
While the grip of her cunt grew keener
Then giving a sigh she sucked him dry
With the ease of a vacuum cleaner
She performed this feat in a way so neat
As to set at complete defiance
The primary cause and the basic laws
That govern sexual science.
She calmly rode through the Phallic Code
Which for years had stood the test
And the ancient laws of the Classic School
In a moment or two went west!
And now, my friend, we come to the end
Of this copulative epic
For the effect on Dick was sudden and quick
And akin to an anaesthetic.
He slid to the floor and knew no more
His passions extinct and dead
He didn't shout as his tool came out
Though 'tis said she'd stripped his thread.
Mexico Pete he sprang to his feet
To avenge his friends affront
And his hard-nosed colt with a fearful jolt
He rammed right up her cunt.
He shoved it hard to the trigger guard
Then fired it three times three
But to his surprise she rolled her eyes
And smiled in ecstasy.
She leaped to her feet with a smile so sweet
"Bully" she cried "for you"
"Though I might have guessed it's about the best
That you poor sods could do
"When next my friend you two intend
To sally forth for fun
Get Dead Eye Dick a sugar stick
And buy yourself a bun
"For I'm away to the frozen North
Where pricks are big and strong
Back to the land of the frozen stand
Where the nights are six months long
"When you stick it in, it's as hard as sin
In a land where spunk is spunk
Not a trickling stream of lukewarm cream
But a solid, frozen chunk.
"Back to the land where they understand
What it means to copulate
Where even the dead lie two in a bed
And the infants masturbate
"They'll tell this tale on the Arctic trail
Where the nights are sixty below
Where its so damn cold French letters are sold
Wrapped up in a ball of snow
"Back once more to the sons of men
To the Land of the Midnight Sun
I go to spend a worthy end
For the North is calling, 'Come!'"
I remember back on our very first date
In the back seat of me car
I wanted you to go all the way
But you wouldn't go that far
I wanted you to hold me dick
You wanted to hold me hand
And when I accidentally brushed your tit
I just blew it and come in me pants
And it was over ...
Before it began
I'll never forget the strain and the sweat
As I fumbled with your gear
A hundred degrees with the windows wound up
So your Mum and Dad couldn't hear
Tryin' me best to unzip your dress
And unhook your bra with one hand
And just when I thought I was doin' all right
I come in me pants again
And it was over ...
Before it began
Blouses and buttons and bras and buckles
And 'Stop it, I'm gettin' cold'
First time I've had a tit in me mouth
Since I was nine months old
I had lovers' balls and you had no idea
Of the pitch of me passion and pain
Tryin' to stay cool with me knackers on fire
I come in me pants again ... oh, shit ... and again
You wouldn't give and I wouldn't go
And we couldn't seem to agree
You got the giggles and I got the shits
Then you wouldn't talk to me
And when we made up and we started again
Your Dad banged on the roof and he yelled:
'What are you two kids up to in there?'
And I shit in me pants as well
And it was over ...
Before it began
You hear people say that they'd love to go back
And do things that they did in the past
But if you reckon they were the real good old days
You can go stick 'em right up your arse!
'Cause when I look back how I came and I went
With a tear in me eye I recall
How me, I had a cunt of a night,
But me undies had a ball
Far and few, far and few
Are the lands where the Jumblies live
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
And they went to sea in a Sieve
They sailed away in a Sieve they did
In a Sieve they sailed so fast
With only a beautiful pea-green veil
Tied with a riband by way of a sail
To a small tobacco-pipe mast
And everyone said, who saw them go
"O won't they be soon upset you know!
For the sky is dark and the voyage is long
And happen what may it's extremely wrong
In a sieve to sail so fast!"
Far and few...
And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.
Well, how do you do, Private William McBride,
Do you mind if I sit down here by your graveside?
And rest for awhile in the warm summer sun,
I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done.
And I see by your gravestone you were only 19
When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916,
Well, I hope you died quick and I hope you died clean
Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?
Did they Beat the drum slowly, did the play the pipes lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er you as they lowered you down?
Did the bugles sound The Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?
And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined?
And, though you died back in 1916,
To that loyal heart are you forever 19?
Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Forever enshrined behind some glass pane,
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame?
The sun's shining down on these green fields of France;
The warm wind blows gently, and the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished long under the plow;
No gas and no barbed wire, no guns firing now.
But here in this graveyard that's still No Man's Land
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man.
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned.
And I can't help but wonder, no Willie McBride,
Do all those who lie here know why they died?
Did you really believe them when they told you "The Cause?"
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain,
For Willie McBride, it all happened again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.
* No it isn't - Ed. Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding
eaten by the Scots and considered by them to be not only
a delicacy but fit for human consumption. The minced
heart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other animal's
inner organs are mixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in
maw in the sheep's intestinal stomach-bag and... excuse
me a minute...
We are here to celebrate a year of Rotaract. Thank you, Lord, for the chance to enjoy ourselves as we make
our small contributions and extend a brief helping hand. Thank you for the good food before us, and the
chance to eat it in peace. Help us, please, to remember those who don't, and can't.
Amen.
Oh Lord, let us not live to be useless.
- Amen
Here's to you and here's to me
Best of friends we'll always be.
But if by chance we disagree
Well, fuck you and here's to me.
Gentlemen, the Queen.